Rod and Karen review Michael Bay’s latest big budget action orgy addition to the Transformer universe. And we even read you feedback!
Spoiled Reviews: (Protected Content)
SMR 133: Transformers The Last Knight
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Sup fam,
I’m with you on the fact that to regular cats and snobs that this movie is a piece of shit. However, to the G1 Transformers stan in me from the 80s, Bay Da Gawd has done it again! For all yall hating ass mufuckaz, yall weren’t fans to begin with. Going to see a joint that you know was “terrible” is one you. Especially those seeing the previous 4 joints. I’m giving this shit a 4 out of 5. I know it makes no sense, has endless plotholes, sexist and racist shake my head moments, completely unrealistic action sequences, etc. but I love it just because it’s Transformers on screen. The fact that you have to keep reminding cats that this whole franchise was based off of toys should be enough, but nope. Niggaz forget that there was a cartoon episode where the Transformers were fuckin hoopin like they were at the Y!!
Ideas/Thoughts for the next movie:
– We need the Transforming cities (Metroplex or Triptocon/Decepticon City) in a battle!
– More combiners!! I am still a little Salty of how Bay made Devastator go out by the Coonbots.
– Bring Starscream back. Need that Megatron/Starscream fuckery.
– Of course, Hot Rod needs to become Rodimus Prime especially if they battle Unicron
– Speaking of Unicron, I’m thinking that his “head” is on earth with the horns being pieces of his head that were split up. They can have the head combining on Earth and going to Cybertron (Cybertron being his body, not the earth) and the Transformers have to join up to basically destroy Cybertron/Unicron. You’re welcome Hollywood!
All I got, Bring on the next joint!! And haters stay mad! BayDaGawd brought one of my biggest childhood loves to the big screen so I’ll never hate on all of the fuckery he’s put in his movies. I’ll miss you Mike.
Oh my dear Rod and Karen LOL. I have a soon to be 13 year old (tomorrow) who absolutely adores this franchise. He wanted to see it more than Star Wars. For months I tried to convince him to choose Spiderman or War for the Planet of the Apes for his birthday movie.
He would not be swayed. And because he has never given me an ounce of trouble in his 13 years I had to give in.
This movie was LONG AS FUCK. When they started monologuing on their way to the ignition chamber I took a break. I could have sworn the movie was 3 1/2 hours long-that’s how much it dragged.
It was not well written. It wasn’t funny. It made no fucking sense.
And yet…
Guys, when the knights formed the dragon, and Bumblebee was on the flying machine, my son was sitting up in his reclining seat, his hands reaching towards the screen almost in worship, his mouth open, and he looked at me with such wonder. HE LOVED IT! He was so happy. And at that point, I couldn’t even be mad at the movie. He is who these movies are for-watching big as robots do amazing things. He owns the other 4 (the first three thanks to me, the last thanks to my sister), and he will often fast forward to the action sequences. And for that reason alone, I can’t be mad at this movie. I was bored, my oldest fell asleep for a good hour of the film, but Baby Boy was enraptured, and seeing your child get his life is sometimes enough.
Thanks for all the great premium content and entertaining this rambling email!
Hi Rod and Karen,
So on vacation I went to see Transformers. It was going back and forth between Imax and just a regular. I thought let me just go to the noon movie, and tried to pick my seats. I truly thought the movie was sold out, but no I was scrolling over the seats that had been purchased. WOW this theatre has like 6 seats purchased. That was so strange to me. Usually, I’m late to see a movie but this just came out, right. I’m so glad you explained what happened during previews. I thought they we’re having issues with the projection. In my head I was saying in my Karen voice, “What’s happening here?!†OMG, I felt like I was in the movie FOREVER!!! I had such high hopes for Rod to watch The Carmichael Show because it’s really funny, but he really did a piss poor job in the movie. I heard where the jokes should have been but they just laid there. He’s not an animated kind of guy. He wasn’t a good fit for this movie at all. After seeing Jared Carmichael, “Ya’ll wanna see a dead movie career?â€
As I was watching that scene when they fell to eternity on a loop, I just fell doing a delivery and it was maybe 3 second (it was slow motion in my head) Boi, my knees are still in pain 2 weeks later. How in the world? That’s why we go to movies to see the unbelievable. Honestly, I thought the Hot Rod robot was Italian making a failed attempt at speaking French. I know that was disappointing for you.
I still love big robots and Transformers 6 …sure why not. I’m much older than ya’ll so watching the Transformers cartoon will always give me a sense of nostalgia as a pre-teen. It will always keep me coming back. I would love to see a Bumble Bee movie but I don’t know Box Office sales maybe pretty slim if it was anything like the theatre L.A.
Veggie Vixen
Let me cut to the chase, this is one terrible movie; yet, it was a terrible movie that I had a blast watching. I couldn’t tell you much about the story, characters, etc. Mark Wahlberg didn’t even try here. Matter of fact, other than Isabela Miner, who did a fine job, everyone was just winging it. Sir Anthony Hopkins didn’t even give a fuck. I will say the pacing isn’t as good as the fourth movie, IMO, but I just think there was more stuff compared to this one. Other than that, I had a blast watching this, complaints and all.
Hi Rod and Karen,
Just wanted to clarify my comments about Womder Woman and Justice League. I meant that I think the Womnder Woman character is going to be good in Justice League. I think the Justice League movie looks like it is going to be hot garbage. For me, Cyborg and the casting of non-white Jason Mamoa qualifies as diversity. I like more than cursory representation, and I think we will get that in JL.
I do agree that the criticisms of the black female characters in Wonder Woman are a bit over the top. I didn’t have a problem either with Diana’s teacher or the warrior. I just thought they were the teacher and the fighter, but I understand those who feel otherwise.
No Transformers for me, but thanks for the review.