Rod and Karen review the final X-Men movie in the Fox franchise, “Dark Phoenix.” We also discuss trailers and your comments.
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SMR 249: Dark Phoenix
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Listen, it’s been a while, and better movies have come out, so I’ll keep this short: it was terrible. It was so bad, I was laughing through the movie. I found myself asking “What the fuck†several times over.
I’m not trying to be ableist, this is a commentary about the actual cutting of the scene rather than someone in a wheelchair. But I laughed out loud when they showed Professor X in that small ass kitchen, and never showed him actually turning the corner in that big ass wheelchair. We know your ass CANNOT fit in those 10 inches of space in the corner!!! It’s like the directors didn’t even try to make sense of the backgrounds. Why make the kitchen in the first place, they used it one time!!!
This movie was ridiculous and I’ll never watch it again, but I had a thoroughly good time laughing through the movie with my friend. The only thing I enjoyed was Magneto, and they made his ass stupid too.
Good luck y’all lol. And thanks for reading my review.
CT
Point blank, I hated this movie. I hated this movie so much, that sneaking a bottle of vodka couldn’t keep me sedated from attempting to enjoying. The lack of continuity, meh special effects, overdramatic score by Hans Zimmer & Simon Kinberg being a downright shitty director. I will say this, though, I though James McAvoy, Sophie Turner & Michael Fassbender were the ain’t my fault all stars. They were trying to give this film something. I saw Mystique’s death coming a mile away & I’m just glad this is over. The X-men are home & Disney can finally give these heroes some movies that we deserve.
Rod & Karen – the rant Rod you went on was everything I was thinking.
The time shit is what killed me. Charles, Hank, Magneto and Mystique were all adults in the early 60s. This movie was set in 1992. That makes all 4 of them in their late 50s/early 60s in the fucking timeline they set up. And we’re all supposed to believe James McAvoy, Jennifer Lawrence, Nicholas Hault and Michael Fassbender are in that old? Nobody has gray hair, no wrinkles, I mean basic shit you could do without cgi. Hell, they seeded a transition to the Patrick Stewart version of Charles in Days of Future Past. It’s that complete disregard for the timeline they set up since the false reboot that was like…I don’t even have words for that shit. Shit’s bugged!
One more thing. I read an article where Lauren Shuler Donner said in early development of X-Men Kevin Feige went to Fox with a roadmap to build a Universe but Fox had other plans. It shows. Signing off Gregory. B.
Yo!! I can’t believe it’s the end. You actually said what I had been thinking after Deadpool came out because Deadpool saved their asses and they didn’t even want to make that movie and I just knew they’d use it to keep the X-Men property hostage because they could give two shits as long as it makes “some moneyâ€. Rod, you might get upset when I tell you first class was in 1962 because that conflict on that island they were on was the Cuban Missile Crisis and Charles had to have been about 28 or about to turn 30 because he had just graduated with his PhD. Dark Phoenix is in 1992. So I’m supposed to believe Beast and Mystique were in love for 30 years? They didn’t make me believe it. Apocalypse was in 83. You see Nightcrawler, Scott and Jean leaving a showing of Return of the Jedi. I’m supposed to believe all of those characters are 10 years older?? Nah. Magneto looks good for being a Holocaust survivor in 1992. When did Storm become iceman? How is her power working without an atmosphere in outer space? They have always left shit on the table. I’m glad Simon Kinberg and Fox can’t hurt the X-Men anymore. I was willing to forgive their past mistakes because Bryan Singer tricked us into thinking they were going to course correct with “Days of Future Past†the. Apocalypse came out. One of the worst parts is they paraded the Jubilee and Storm actors around for the press junkets and nobody ever said any of their names in that movie. Jubilee didn’t get to do anything, but say hi to nightcrawler. I could go on forever. What happened to Mystique’s “mutant and proudâ€? She didn’t even want to be blue most of the time in the follow up movies. I could go on forever. Thanks for reviewing this movie. It was a fun listen. You didn’t have to, but you did.