Rod and Karen discuss passing down shame to black girls, TI’s hymen checking, Chicago ending water shut offs, horrible article about Elizabeth Warren, Kanye West wants to change his name, lava tube death, TX law against d!ck pics, gender reveal plane crash, Lisa Falcone, HS coach resigns, quick change thief, doctor’s note writer busted, KFC proposal and sword ratchetness.
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The Rhymin’ Hymen Hero strikes again!
T.I. is an example of when you go unchecked for too long. I don’t even know what ancient scroll of Hotepery he read to even get to that level, but I’m pretty sure he’s going to challenge Farrakhan to a title shot.
The policing of black people’s bodies causes irreparable generational trauma, and yes I learned all those phrases within the last two years but I’ve been dealing with this trauma for decades. I was primarily raised by my grandma because my mom was 20 and unmarried when she gave birth to my twin brother and me. I swear my grandma and I had an okay relationship although she was really strict until I started high school. She didn’t want me riding the bus in a skirt and thought black clothes were for grown women. She started accusing me of having sex with boys in school, asked if I was having threesomes with two boys I used to hang out with from the school newspaper, and accused me of trading sex for a ride home when a male classmate drove me home when I was sick. She and my aunt believed that I only wanted to do after school clubs because some boy put me up to it, she hated that I would call boys in the phone the same way I would call my girlfriends, and when she found out I had sex in college she stopped talking to me. A year later I moved out. My mom was no better. Everything about sex was bad even when I was married and I would ask for advice. My value literally was tied up in my virginity and how many sexual partners I had. When I suffered infertility and multiple miscarriages in my late 20s/early 30s, I was convinced it was punishment for having premarital sex. It played a great part in my depression and subsequent suicide attempt in 2001. Besides sexuality, my weight, what I eat was also (and still) policed and criticized by my family.
It’s because of this that I’ve gone out of my way to raise my daughters in a body positive and sexually positive home. I remember forbidding my nanny from using self deprecating humor in front of my girls because I didn’t want them to think it was ever okay to talk bad about themselves. They are 12 and 14 years old now, and they will tell you that I talk about sex and reproductive health and how patriarchy polices women’s bodies a little too much. I tell them that people are stupid and I want them to be the smartest person in the room when it comes to their bodies. I tell them that their father and I would prefer they wait until after high school to have sex but we can’t stop them. We just want them to have all the tools to make a decision for what’s right for them.
T.I.’s ignorance and that Jazz segment really got me twisted all up in my feelings. Thank you for talking about this, Rod & Karen. I hope you inspire some parents and aunties/uncles to be more careful in how they talk about Women’s bodies and sexual activity.
Peace out, cousins in my head
I’m with Karen,
T.I putting his daughter’s medical information out there is such a betrayal, bad judgment, and potentially dangerous. And there are LOTS of guys who like virgins. Trust!
Of course there’s also lots of creepy dudes who like virgins and T.I being who he is, has probably alerted all those dudes!
If she ever gets married is he going to ask for her “first night†sheets too?
Ugh.
In lighter topics, in my culture “Auntie†and “Uncle†can be any close friend of your parents or anyone your parents age or older at our masjid. So any race could be an auntie or Uncle. But once the debates started I told my sister I’m off the “Uncle Joe†stuff. She insisted that she’s still calling him that as long as he rides for Obama. Then I say “but Obama told his out of touch ass not to do this!†Smh, lol. Maybe it’s because she’s older idk. For now we laugh about it.
Love y’all,
Iman