SMR 465: Jurassic World Dominion

2 Comments

1. 

   PamelaM8

   08/16/2023 at 7:18 PM

   Another zero star review from Rod! Sorry if I spoiled that for people, but y’all know what this is!

   So there was no way I was paying to see this movie and we got a copy from the library. Utterly and absolutely ridiculous! I also loved the chase scene through the city, but otherwise, the only thing that gave me joy throughout i.e. made me scoff, was the power of that white man’s hand! Like, dude, how are you not dead yet?!! Them dinosaurs don’t care about you! Who is you?

   The best part of your review was hearing you get angrier and angrier about how stupid this movie was. Love the passion!

   Can’t wait for the next one! The reviews, of course; no more of this franchise, please.

   Pamela

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2. 

   SANDLERAGONY

   08/12/2023 at 8:42 AM

   Rod, are you sure you’re not Iron Man? You banished JP: Dominion away just like Tony did Thanos in Endgame.

   I basically stopped caring about this series once Maisie freed the dinosaurs at the end of Fallen Kingdom. Now, I watched this “movie” in theaters in Dolby Digital and it’s such an empty vessel of bad ideas: Return of the old cast, Campbell Scott’s terribly-inspired Steve Jobs-esque character, what was the point of the Locusts?, It’s longer than that pointless steroid hearing for baseball in 2007, the shitty writing, BD Wong can’t pick a lane and so much more.

   It’s bad. I was merciful when I reviewed it for LetterboxD but it was because I tried to not take it seriously, just like the original Jurassic World, which is shockingly decent, but didn’t REALLY need to be made. The series was at its peak at the very first one. Although The Lost World, JPIII & the first Jurassic World are just competently made films, I more or less accept them as “that was fine, nothing more.”, Universal just wanted an excuse to make these films into a bonafide franchise, which I have no problem but you have to make us care as a viewing public.

   This & Fallen Kingdom are the fucking nadir people have said Marvel’s Phases 4 & 5 are. Like, you can blame COVID for Marvel’s currently rocky scheduling and, at times, wonky screenplays, Dominion is just bad filmmaking that can’t be blamed on the pandemic. It’s uninspired, messy, loud, abhorrently stupid and overstuffed. There’s just nothing that’s redeemable. No heart, no soul, no stakes, just nothing. Sure all three Jurassic World films made a billion dollars but who talks about them? People talk cash shit about Avatar’s cultural relevance but they got the pride and joy of James Cameron. What can you say for Colin Trevorrow? He probably got some good indies but he ain’t no fucking body, otherwise.

   Let this shit die, Universal Pictures. Steven Spielberg ain’t walking through that door. Kathleen Kennedy & the entire Amblin Entertainment establishment ain’t walking through that door. Shit is more meaningless than the opinions of Film Twitter. What a mess.

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