Category: Blog Post (Page 11 of 16)

Here you go guys. Enjoy.

Wow it  was a busy week folks. Your favorite podcasting married folks were on the grind spreading the word about The Black Guy Who Tips Podcast. If you’re looking for bonus Rod and Karen then you’ve come to the right place.

Karen was on Scarcasm Live (Casual Conversation) for another ladies night hosted by Sherry.

Rod and Karen hosted another Spoiled Movie Review Podcast with Kriss and Dexter. Check it out here.

Rod was on The Evening Jones kicking with Bomani Jones talking some NBA finals among other things.

Rod was on the Black Is Online podcast to discuss black men’s sexual politics with a round table of black male podcasters. Check it out by clicking HERE to go to Stitcher or you can find it on iTunes by searching “Black Is Online”

And Karen was on the Eclectik Discussion Podcast discussing all things Eddie Murphy. Click HERE to check out the episode. Hope you enjoy!

At this point it’s an annual tradition right? So you know what time it is, the return of Rod’s pops to the podcast. Come join us on Vokle and ask questions about marriage, parenting and whatever other stuff is one your mind. Join the chat and make sure you tell a friend.

It's only a slight change right?

1. The people who make Run Pee need to come out with an app called “run shit” where they tell you about 15 minutes of the movie instead of the five minutes they tell you about now.

Is it Buy One Get Two For A Hand Shanty?

2. Qdoba has a buy one get one free coupon for a kiss on Valentine’s Day. What do I get for a blow job?

One day someone looked at this animal and thought "I want its skin on my genitals"... weird.

3. If lamb skin condoms are made of lamb skin. Sheep skin condoms are made of sheep skins. What are bare skin condoms by Trojan made of?

The new American Family

4. They should change the name of “The Cleveland Show” to “African American Dad”.

Because isn't there a fetish for EVERYTHING?

5. Why isn’t someone being extremely ashy a fetish? I mean everything is a fetish to someone else right? Why not “ash to mouth” porn?

Why go to college if this is all it takes to get women?

6. If porn is as influential as people say it is then why aren’t there a lot more pizza men in the world?

So it's crazy in the movie "Fight Club" but cute in the comic section of the paper?

7. So are we pretending that Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes didn’t have severe multiple personality disorder represented by Hobbes the Tiger?

I'm giving up sweets and dealing with people.

8. I gave up “on humanity” for Lent.

This was the coolest shit ever growing up!

9. I wonder if MJ actually kept anything in the pockets of that leather zipper jacket.

At this point... why are you even still playing the game?

10. I’m convinced that the only people still playing “Words With Friends” are cheaters and people who don’t mind losing.

Uh Mike's never coming back yo...

11. Mike has been in Brazil for a long time at this point. I think they should change the site to “Brazilian Mike.”

Can you crack the case of the internet making you obsolete?

12. They printed the last set of encyclopedias this week. So does that mean from now on kids will read novels about Wikipedia Brown?

Oh no I've got the Call of Duty Flu

13. Big movie and video game releases make me sick and I need time off work. It’s a very rare disease.

She's actually 23 years old.

14. Whenever I see an old person smoking cigarettes I always think, “Good for you. You beat the odds!” Then they tell me that they are actually 25 years old.

My nicotine.

15. I don’t judge smokers because I’m fat. I have impulse control issue with my eating. I’m a chronic masticator.

It's also good for alliteration!

16. I’m glad we as a people got comfortable with the term “Black” because “African American” is too long for porn titles.

Except the songs that are longer than 5 minutes.

17. All of Nicki Minaj’s songs are 3 to 5 minutes too long.

You made me care about this character?!

18. Do the people who were upset that Rue was black in “The Hunger Games” movie know that the bible took place in Africa? Uh oh…

No wonder it doesn't ever come out right!

19. Microwave Mexican food is the laziest of all the food groups. The instructions are way too casual. “Open one end of the package and cook 1 to 5 minutes.”

Actually I will take your word for it.

20. I hated reading when I was growing up. I was the only kid who actually took Levar Burton’s word for it.

Yes... ma'am

21. Women think I’m really respectful but honestly I just think “ma’am” is short for “mammaries”.

If this doesn’t make sense just chalk it up to a weird dream I had about blackness in the middle of a nap on a Tuesday afternoon.

How Can You Not Love This Guy? I'll Tell You How...

Warning: The following editorial contains as little fact as possible and is full of horrendous “Lin” puns that are in no way meant to be amusing. Also check out the homey Nick Noheart from Filling The Lanes write up on Lin. In great part it inspired this post. Click Here: I Will Not Hate Jeremy Lin.

Smush Scola?

Part of me thinks this all started the second that Kevin Love’s size 19 shoes landed on that hairy Spaniard’s face. At least if this was a movie narrated by Kevin Spacey that’s where the story would start. Kevin Love had finally earned his rightfully deserved spot as the “white guy” for the NBA. Dirk was fat and out of playing shape to start the 2011 season and currently on a “conditioning break” to get back on the court. And the game winning highlights were rolling in for the T-wolves as Love averaged a double-double while dominating his position. But then “face-gate” hit the media and the tenuous position of official “white guy” of the NBA disappeared faster than you can say “White Chocolate”. And white America was once again pulling a Bruce Banner on the road with a nap sack in search of a cure to their unquenchable silent rage. (Also their loud vocal rage which you can find on every AM sports radio station.)

Enter: Jeremy Lin. Or as many racially provocative media headlines would put it “Enter The Dragon”, “Enter the Wu-Tang” and “Welcome to Shaolin”. The headlines were a bunch of corny puns that seemed to make note of Lin’s Asian appearance while giving his actual basketball prowess secondary coverage. It was a cute distraction in those first few games but my racism radar was slightly bleeping. Did we really need to give an immature sports media / fan-base a NEW racial component to experiment with? It’s been over 100 years and we still haven’t tackled the “black” thing very well.

Then the Knicks kept winning. And Lin was crucial in all of their success. A game winning shot here, a win over LA there and BAM… it’s “Linsanity”. People really lost their minds. You couldn’t put the TV on ESPN for more than 5 minutes without a Jeremy Lin snippet on the screen. He even had his own “Lin” label on the ESPN news scroll at the bottom of my 1080p 52” flat screen. (Balling!) Even then I could feel my “Lintolerance” starting to creep in. Luckily I was able to turn off my TV before I too needed a “Lintervention”. Hadn’t we JUST gone through this with Tebow? Speaking of Tebow…

The Tebow comparisons started. Not by anything that Lin did. No, it was reporters thirsty for a new American obsession that also combined religion, race and winning. Even if Lin was actually not inept at the position he played (ala Tebow) they were determined to make him into a televangelist winning miracle making machine. Unlike Tebow you actually have to ASK Lin about his faith in order to get him to comment on it. Even still this comparison was wedged into every Lin related media. I was becoming “Linconsolable” because I knew what was coming next.

Even Lin's Throwing Motion Is Better.

Like clockwork the focus switched to Lin’s personal life and what do you know? He’s the new symbol for why black players are culturally lacking. Not DIRECTLY, “Linstitutionalized” racism is NEVER that direct. It was the dog whistling that only Negroes seem to hear or acknowledge.

• Lin is the cerebral point guard who does it with superior intellect and angles.
• He’s not going to have a “posse” in the Garden when he comes to the game.
• He’s not tatted up, he’s not blinging, he speaks so well and he has an education from a prestigious university.

Finally Lin became the latest measuring stick for the media to use against black culture and black players in general. Maybe I was feeling “Linsecure” but when writers were posting on Twitter that it only took them 5 minutes of watching Lin for the first time ever to see that Lin was playing chess to John Wall’s AAU checkers it does seem a bit sensationalistic. Now let’s talk about the present state of things.

It’s not just hating black players so much any more. It’s become more “Linsidious” than that. It’s about who and how fans pick and choose to WITHHOLD their love. Instead of giving John Wall a pass for playing on the most disorganized team since “X-men United” they’re chiding him for playing AAU ball. Instead of understanding that a guy like Lebron James still won’t rule out playing in his home state to finish his career because he’s longing for that same universal love that Lin seems to be getting at the moment, they’re telling him to “sit down and shut up.” Jeremy Lin slept on a couch while pursuing his dream of playing in the NBA? That’s a great story. His teammate Baron Davis slept on his grandmother’s floor. Leon Powe slept in a car. Kobe Bryant slept on a couch THIS season because of his “Linfidelity”. (Allegedly)

The point is that the NBA has always been a vehicle for dreams and a way out of poverty for many minority athletes who wear their faith on their sleeves. While attending Harvard might make you and underdog for NBA success it definitely makes you the favorite in LIFE off the court. Lin IS a success story no doubt, but he’s not the first Asian to have success (Yao Ming), he’s not the first guy to get out of poverty via the league (pick a guy), he’s not the first point guard to need a change of team to grab a foothold in the league (Nash) and he’s not the first NBA player to believe in Christ (Anyone except the player formerly known as Chris Jackson).

And one last thing before you say, “We’re all just rooting for him because of his race” let me stop you right there. So is “rooting” now defined as racist headlines such as “Chink In The Armor” or “Some lady is going to get a couple inches of pain tonight” after Lin gets a W? Pardon me if I find your sentiments a bit “Linsincere”. I know what genuinely rooting for a player to succeed looks like. It’s not racist puns after every big game. I find that there are a lot of people who claim to be supporters of Lin but are actually more enthused about using the next racial pun in an article or on Twitter.

Are We Rooting For The Same Thing?

Am I rooting for Lin to fail? Hell no! But I am reminded that love and adoration seems to be reserved for the kind of guys that you’d invite over to your house and have dinner with. For the many of his detractors the worst part is that Lin is a constant reminder that black guys still haven’t been offered that seat of unabashed love at the table yet. I don’t want to dislike Jeremy Lin but I can’t help but feel a twinge of bitterness when I see that many of the people rooting for Lin dislike any player who looks like ME. It is in this way that Lin DOES remind me of Tebow because the hypocrisy of the love-fest he’s benefiting from is partially fueled by race. Not the race that he IS but the race that he ISN’T.

So when you wonder “why” there is a reluctance for some to praise this guy as the savior look no further than that last paragraph. Is it fair to hold this against Lin and his story? No. But unfairness begets unfairness does it not? And I didn’t even go into the backlash people outside of the New York area already have to the forced nature of NYC-centric sports coverage. Is Lin an American success story? He sure is but so is EVERYONE in he NBA. Lin was an American success story the second he got into Harvard. Leon Powe wasn’t a success story until the second he cashed his first NBA check. I root for a myriad of paths to get to the league but why does it seem like Lin is getting a pat on the back for doing it the “right” way?

This isn’t an article ripping enthusiastic Knicks fans, this isn’t a diss to those who genuinely root for the underdog, this is my feeble attempt to explain why some are leery of the hype surrounding Lin. As far as the hatred of Lin, that will come in many forms. You’ll see bloggers analyzing him shot by shot waiting for him to miss, you’ll see black people reluctant jump on the bandwagon beside the same people who think all other NBA players look like “thugs” and there will probably be some people who dislike NYC in general on the hate bandwagon. I won’t be one of the haters but it doesn’t mean that I’m blind to the motivations of the parties involved.

Then again… maybe I’m just being “Linsitive”.

Childish Gambino aka Donald Glover just released his newest video for his album Camp. There has been mixed reaction to the video as some people expected an over the top visual feat. The visuals that his techno-fused track and reflective lyrics suggest may be one of a crowded rave full of dancing hipsters but what he delivered was something more nuanced. This was a video that really rewarded those of us that are moved by style over substance. If you’re more about grand gestures you may find the “Niggas in Paris” video to be a bit more to your liking.

Now look I might just be stupid. Remember that for later because you might’ve picked all this up from the original song “Heart Beat” on Donald Glover’s “Camp” album. While I love the song and picked up all the clever bars I don’t think I truly had an understanding for the changing dynamic of the romantic relationship the song is centered around until I saw this video.

At its heart Heartbeat is a song about control. Upon first listen it may come off as a song about a couple who just needs to break up. At least that’s how I took it. It was about a couple who needed to move on but was stuck in that awkward phase of “what are we?” They were driven by familiarity of their past involvement and unable to move on completely from each other. We’ve all been there.

But the song is actually much more complex than that. It’s about Donald Glover’s realization that he’s actually not as in control of this relationship as he’d like to think. The video is a perfect illustration of that. Often the symbolism for control in American metaphors is “being in the driver’s seat” right?

Well in the video Glover starts off in the driver’s seat as he’s chauffeuring this woman around. His swagger in the front seat is one of cockiness. Not a brash heavy handed approach but a coy self assured flirtation that takes place in subtle glance and eventually is requited by the girl sharing her food with him.

Juxtapose this action with that of the actual verse on the song and you can see that he’s clearly under the assumption that he’d dictating his terms to his lover. Lines like:

• “I come around when you least expect me. I’m sitting at the bar when your glass is empty.”

He’s coordinating what looks like a chance encounter but clearly he’s orchestrated these circumstances to approach his ex for a meet up.

• “You start calling. You start crying. I come over. I’m inside you.”

So his earlier text messages and tactics at the club worked to break her down to where he could come over and rekindle that passion while still seeming disinterested to boot.

• “And I’ma flirt with this new girl. And I’ma call if it don’t work.”

So his ex is his fall back plan for a late night booty call but nothing more to him at this point.

• “I’m a ghost and you know this. That’s why we broke up in the first place.” –

So he’s basically saying he wasn’t around emotionally and that’s why they aren’t together. This passive aggressively implies he was in control of the relationship.

During the second stanza of the song the video takes a twist as Glover and the woman he’s been chauffeuring both make out in the back seat. I think this symbolizes the passion of their complicated relationship. You see Donald is obviously lost in the emotion and intensity of rekindling this relationship. It’s evidenced in the second verse that he’s beginning to lose the illusion of control over his ex. Here are some lines from the verse.

• “It’s late night Thursday. I KNOW that you heard me. But you don’t want the same thing. Well two can play that game. So I’m chilling with my girlfriend but she’s not my real girlfriend. She got a key to my place but she’s not my  REAL girlfriend!”

Now Donald is trying to make her jealous of him moving on. But the entire time he’s simply doing this to get the attention of his ex. This is another sign that he’s not really in control as he’d like to think.

• “I’m paranoid that these girls want something from me and it’s hard to make a dime go 100!”

Right there he’s saying now that he realizes that he can’t trust other women and he’s longing for the love of his ex.

• “I miss the sex where you kiss when you’re through. 69 is the only dinner for two. I was wrong but would you have listened to you?”

So now he’s finally admitting they shouldn’t have broken up and he’s still crazy about her and misses genuine intimacy.

As the second verse wraps up the girl hops up from the back seat make out session while Donald clearly wants to continue. She then hops in the driver’s seat and begins driving him to an unknown destination. Remember what we said about the driver’s seat symbolizing control right? And to top it off Donald Glover is clearly upset about this. He’s not being chauffeured like she was in the start of the video. He’s being DRIVEN to somewhere he obviously doesn’t want to go. I think this is symbolic of her actually breaking it off officially with him. The verse of the song becomes angrier as he’s stewing over his new realization that he was NEVER actually in control of this relationship. Lines from the 3^rd verse:

• “So we’re done? Is this the real shit? We used to hold hands like field trips!”

So now he’s mad that she’s decided to move on from him and he’s missing that connection.

• “I’m a jerk but your man is a real dick! I see his post on your wall and I feel sick!”

Yep the guy that Donald Glover was laughing at in the first verse has actually “won” the affections of Glover’s ex. So now he’s just hating on him like a petty child.

• “I’m the best that you had face it! J and Keysha are related? Racist! I gave you money and you burnie’d and you made off! She ain’t a killer but she’ll fucking blow your head up! I know he’s wondering what the fuck we’re hiding. That we dated like raps about Bin Laden!”

These are all personal attacks against her. He’s calling her a racist for thinking J Cole and Keysha Cole were related because they have the same last name. Then he accuses her of being a gold digger. Finally, he threatens to reveal their past to her man.

At the end of the video she gets out the car and leaves him alone in the car. She’s obviously moving on and not even concerned about him any more. And he’s reduced to begging and hoping she’ll come back. He even has a line in the song. “But not really. You say the nastiest things in bed and it’s fucking awesome.” He’s been reduced to a shell of the confident dude who was driving her around in the first verse.

And thanks to this excellent video I now fully realize the true narrative of the song. Genius!

The Black Guy Who Tips Podcast is a comedy internet radio show hosted by husband and wife team Rod and Karen. The show is done 3 times a week and can be found on Facebook, iTunes and Stitcher radio by searching “The Black Guy Who Tips”.

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We All Gotta Go Some Time

1. When I die I want my obituary to mention that my cause of death was being smothered in a big juicy ass. It’s my life and that’s how I choose to go out.

We ain't even sposed to be here!

2. You ever have sex so good that you call your momma afterward and thank her for not aborting you? Oh… me neither. (I text instead)

That ain't juices and berries...

3. Al Sharpton has to go to a beauty salon to get his hair done. I don’t know why but that’s just funny to me. I keep picturing him under the dryer with rollers in his hair reading a JET magazine.

As soon as she opens the Corona she's on the beach.

4. They need a Corona ad where it’s a corpse on the beach and then two detectives walk up and it’s dead person in the snow.

What kind of sell outs are these guys exactly?

5. I want to call these LMFAO cats some “coons” but they are too racially ambiguous …

More interesting than revolution? Yes.

6. The revolution will be televised. Everything is televised now. But no one will see it because we’ll be too busy watching Basketball Wives, Tim Tebow and Fox News.

She's going HAM?

7. I’m going to start a website called “Black People Meat” and it’s going to be dedicated to hog maws, fat back, ribs, fried chicken and probably genitals. And possibly racist cannibalism but I’m not committing to that.

If you're the Egg McMuffin of boyfriends then she's fucking the sausage McGriddle on the side.

8. I don’t want to be the “Egg McMuffin” of anything but I’d love to be the “Sausage McGriddle” of being awesomely bad for you.

Irony

9. People always say the internet and TV are bad for you. I always see this on the internet and TV.

I need Keenan Ivory Wayans to play Herman Cain in the return of In Living Color.

10. In hindsight I feel like those mistresses were Herman Cain’s horcruxes. Or should it be “whore-cruxes”?

They are pledging "bow chica bow bow"

11. I saw an XXX video that was called Sorority Sistas but the chicks were kind of old. I think they were pledging grad chapter.

Still one hit away

12. Rob Schneider is Adam Sandler’s Memphis Bleek.

Well might as well check out the site.

13. I keep getting spam for BBW dating sites. And I had the same question you have right now… How did they know?!

Let's see how you like it!

14. When I’m angry I send work emails in all lower case but with a huge font size because I’m passive aggressive.

#BHS

15. I’m gonna come out with a show about getting people with kinky hair to get perms. I’ll call it “Beyond Haired Straight”

All in his mouth dawg... all in his mouth.

16. By the transitive properties of reality TV Shaq has made out with Flavor Flav.

Shhh... just take it.

17. Dudes say they aren’t homophobic but then won’t eat a banana in front of a gay dude.

Not as easy as it looks on TV is it?

18. Every day I try my best to stay out of the hoods. Specifically the parent and adult ones.

Tim Tebow died on a nationally televised cross Saturday night. He died for our sins. In order for us to experience the infinite forgiveness that comes from winning games on a 100 yard field Tim Tebow had to die an excruciatingly masochistic death. Tom Brady was all too happy to play Pontius Pilate at the crucifixion that took place 1/14/2012. When Tebow walked out that tunnel I could see the gentle grace in his eyes even though we all knew that he was about to face his execution. There would be no miracles this week. No more turning quarterback scrambles into wine. No more walking on Ike Taylor. He wasn’t gone be able to touch Decker and heal his knee.

Tebow was fitted with a self-inflicted crown of thorns in the shape of poor throwing mechanics. On his back was a cross of a 48% completion rate. And each incompletion that night felt like a hammer striking a nail pinning him down further and further. As the New England defense frustrated him time and again I could hear Tebow’s voice in my head saying, “Forgive them. For they know not what they do.” But he had to die in order for all of us to be forgiven for the spectacle that we’ve come to love MORE than the actual game itself. Now we have nothing to talk about but football. Through Tebow’s death… we have been given life.

It’s sort of fitting that his season should come to an end on the weekend that we celebrate Martin Luther King Jr. In many ways Tebow was the anti-embodiment of MLK’s dream. Sure, he was an Aryan demigod with a hardcore religious conservative background but he was also playing the quarterback position in a way that wasn’t traditional. To paraphrase the great football scholar Toure(heh), Tim Tebow’s style of play could only be labeled racially as “black”. What if Tim Tebow was black? He’d be Jordan Jefferson? But if Tebow was the fruition of King’s nightmare of being measured on the color of one’s skin and not the measure of his ability to perform then Tom Brady got his James Earl Ray on and assassinated a public figure who had come to stand as a symbol for so much in the world of sports.

Jason Whitlock posited that Tebow was a monument to having a strong father figure and used Tebow as a stick to beat down black quarterbacks who hadn’t achieved at the position. Rick Perry and Michele Bachmann used Tebow as a symbol to rally their campaigns behind before dropping out of the race for the Republican primary race. “Focus on the Family” used Tebow as a pitchman for pro-life politics and to promote Christianity during football games. And then there are the countless sports analyst who used Tebow for ratings. Tebow would come to stand for racial favoritism when Kordell Stewart ranted about Tebow’s treatment in the media as compared to Kordell’s own experience as a running quarterback. Keep in mind … none of this farce has anything to do with actual football.

Sports are supposed to be the one place where everything comes out in the wash. People are measured on the merits of their ability to help their team win games. But often we end up focusing far more on the entertainment aspect of sports rather than the actual break down of what is taking place on the field. I think Tebow was the ultimate example of this. People didn’t care what was happening on Sundays when it came to logic and reason. All we knew is that watching Tebow gave us a chance to feel good during close games as he threw a stone into Goliath’s forehead 48% of the time. The hype around Tebow became unbearable for any true student of the game of football. If you believed in the traditional assets a quarterback should posses then you were also left wanting when watching Tim take snaps as an NFL starter. Personally, I was in it for the fun of watching the media and fans turn on themselves as hero worshiping came to a head with the hatred of hype.

Tebow may never start another NFL game in his career but his “death” is going to be a gift bestowed upon fans of non-traditional (read: Black) quarterbacks for the rest of our lives. Now when a guy like Terrell Pryor is eventually given a few chances at starting for an NFL team I’ll get to find out who is a hypocrite and which of us genuinely roots for the inept underdog. This fun that I had this year with Tebow is essentially over with. I don’t expect to see him make it out of pre-season as the starter for the Broncos next year and I certainly don’t expect him to win games against a much tougher slate of opponents next year. It’s almost a relief because I’d love to be able to bottle up the entirety of this social experiment neatly in a one season time frame. But maybe Tim will drag it out for another season or two. Who knows?

I do appreciate having the appearance of rational analysis of football back as we head in to the conference championships. While Tebow isn’t the first sub-par athlete that we’ve become superficially obsessed with he represents probably the most egregious violation of our sensibilities. Tesus was lightning in a bottle for a football sideshow with his mix of race, religion and winning. This won’t be nearly as much of a novelty next year when he has some actual expectations heaped upon his shoulders. I expect the irrational pandemonium surrounding him to be quelled by an eventual disenchantment with horrible quarterbacking and losing next season. He won’t be able to pull this off again so he had to die for us to live in a world where sports make sense again.

Well, that is unless he does it again next year… which he probably won’t. But what if he does?